Recognize that there is no such thing as “cured”. Once you’ve had an eating disorder, you can always have one again. Chances are, you cultivated some food and exercise freakiness because it made you feel like you could handle the shit that felt un-handle-able. You used it to control or to rebel or to change your body or to please someone who you felt needed you to change. You cultivated your eating disorder because the world we live in is fat phobic and cruel. Maybe it was something you learned from a parent or a trusted friend, or maybe it was a survival mechanism when you didn’t know how else to keep on living. Maybe your eating disorder provided you with some semblance of safety.